i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize