Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
