Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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