How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
