If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
