Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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