I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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