I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
