When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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