Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
