wat bout pragnant strippers??
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize