I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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