I forgot how hot balto sounded
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
