I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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