Will you blow on my dice?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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