Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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