thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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