Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
