jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
True strength comes from lack of pants
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
