He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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