It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
