There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize