So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
