I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
