I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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