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Fuck
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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