she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.