so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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