I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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