i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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