Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.