he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.