scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like