i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.