I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
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I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.