He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
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I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender