are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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