so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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