You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize