im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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