and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize