lets start a swedish sibling band together
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
