I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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