i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
