good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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