I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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