you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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