whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
