I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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