apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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