My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
