Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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