Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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