oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
