That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
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I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize