Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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