I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize