Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
North Korea, Best Korea!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
