you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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