fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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