I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
