thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize