I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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