yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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