her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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